|The Heart of
A Unique guide to
Love and Sexual Fulfilment
Everyone is interested
It is the one subject
that has continued to be of undying fascination, if not obsession, throughout
You can immediately
tell when sex is the focus of a conversation; heads huddle closely together and
there is a hushed intensity, an almost thickening of the air.
Conversely, when people
are afraid to talk about sex or ashamed of sex, and it's animal
nature, there can be a palpable feeling of separation, a screen of isolation
and tension surrounding them.
The fact remains that
whether sex is being discussed or ignored, repressed or expressed, enjoyed or
endured, it is the single most significant aspect of our lives.
Sex is always
happening in the mind; it forms the central theme of our thoughts and
In truth, the whole of
life pivots around sex.
It is part of our
atomic chemistry, as each sentient creature on this planet was created in sex,
from the union of the male and female cells.
The recognition of this
begins early in childhood when we naturally fondle our genitals with innocent
comforting delight, and our sexuality accompanies us throughout our lives in
various stages of development and expression.
It is the source of a
great deal of pain and pleasure, of comfort and discomfort.
It often determines
our happiness and unhappiness, our ecstasies and our agonies.
The simple act of
painting our toenails or lips and the splashing on of perfume and aftershave,
are steps towards attracting sex.
This is highly obvious
in today's world where we are constantly saturated with sexual ../../images,
words, flashes and films.
The media uses sex to
advertise, to disgrace, to scandalize, and people use it to control, to entice,
to abuse and abandon.
Our obsession with
fashion and appearance revolves around sex and being viewed by someone as
attractive gives us vitality and confidence, even if we, in turn, don't find
that person particularly attractive.
When desire is mutually
shared, then we see the possibility of love, and this fills us with joy.
It is what each of us
truly longs for.
To love and to be
Nothing can take its
And when we love
someone, sex becomes an ongoing thread of communication.
Sex can also be the
cause of miscommunication, of arguments, violence, confusion, discontent and
I've heard it said
that men think about sex every three minutes; women think about it every six to
Whatever the real
statistics, the fact remains that we as human beings are in an ongoing
relationship with sex, whether we like it or not.
Sexual energy and the
There is simply no way
of containing the sex energy; it is the life force itself.
Even though in our
minds we often try and make a separation between sexual energy and
other energy, the truth is that it is all one and the same thing.
Energy is simply
energy, with an inherent capacity to move, and it moves whether the life force
expresses itself through sex or survival, in art, athletics or
And try as we might,
we cannot repress or ignore this energy, we can only learn to channel it in the
most intelligent and uplifting ways.
As prevalent as sex is,
it is a rare person who has discovered a way to derive full satisfaction or a
loving heart from its practice.
In inquiring into the
phenomenon of orgasm, modern research reveals the sobering findings that an
average sexually active person experiences orgasmic ecstasy for twenty seconds
a week, 90 seconds a month, and thus eighteen minutes a year.
And this is based on
an average orgasm lasting 10 seconds.
Even ten seconds can
sound to be quite an achievement!
So in fifty years of
sexual activity we have the privilege of experiencing orgasmic ecstasy for
about fifteen hours in total.
Which is astonishing
(and distressing) when you consider how many times you make love in your life,
and how much additional time is spent dreaming about it and agonizing over it!
It is obvious that love
and sex are not in a satisfactory state for most of us.
Sex is not the
orgasmic, innocent, spiritual force it is meant to be, transporting us into a
world of love and true passion.
It does not deeply
fulfill us, giving us the strength to face each day with enthusiasm, nor does
it have the power to take us beyond the pressures or limitations of our day to
between men and women are common, if not rife, such as sexual abuse, frigidity,
ambivalence, premature ejaculation, impotence, sexual dis-interest.
Sex and intelligence In
order to reverse this, and find the profundity of sexual satisfaction we seek,
we must begin to bring intelligence into our view of sex.
We have to start
looking at it within a new framework, see it from a different perspective,
beyond that of reproduction or immediate physical pleasure and
Beyond that of
considering sex to be a compulsive animal urge which we have to appease.
This new picture will
give fresh insights into sexual energy, how it best responds, and how to
utilize sex as an ongoing creation of love between man and woman.
And the good news is
that sex is an extremely healthy empowering force which we can enjoy and use to
our great benefit.
Sex in its highest
form has an element of the divine in it.
It brings you to
here, to the divinity of the present moment where you feel
gloriously at ease, unified with existence.
perfectly in place.
It is an orgasmic
biological ecstasy which arises out of the dynamic interplay of opposite
forces, and which is food for the spirit.
Sadly, many people of
religion hold the opinion that sex is a distraction on the path to God.
Avoid sex at all costs,
some of us have been taught, even if you spend your nights dreaming restlessly
about it and your days obsessively thinking about it.
This is a great
misunderstanding and an aching loss to humanity.
If sex is limited to
reproduction and gratification, and ignores its subtle spiritual function, it
dissipates life energy, disturbing mind, body and spirit.
Tantra, the cosmic balancing of male and female energies, yin and yang,
positive and negative, dynamic and receptive, we can introduce love and spirit
in our lives, within and without, and learn to live beyond the limitations of
We are offered the
opportunity to return to our nature, as men and women, and to find the
spiritual language of love through the physical act of making love.
It is a different
picture of sex to the one we inherited from our uninformed society.
Until then, it is as
though we have been looking at sex through a pair of misty spectacles.
Tantra gives us new
insights and a completely different vision of sex and its function.
Phases of sexual
energy In human beings the sexual energy is understood to run in a circular
path, along internal channels, through the body, with two distinct phases.
The first phase, and
initial impetus of sex energy begins in the brain, before circling downward to
More specifically, the
hypothalamic-pituitary region and the pineal gland in the brain secretes
hormones, which control the important endocrine system in the body, and these
include the sexual glands.
These hormones maintain
sexual well-being and promote the eventual readiness for sexual
This is the first and
descending half of the circle from the brain to the genitals.
It is known as the
biological or reproductive phase of the sex energy.
And it is here that we
invariably release the sexual energy created in sex, through orgasm or
The secret of Tantra,
and its prime interest, is that the sex energy is encouraged to be retained in
It is not habitually
released in orgasm or ejaculation.
It remains within the
body and is re-circulated, and through this we fulfill our orgasmic potential.
In this the second half
and ascending phase, the sex energy is given the opportunity to circulate back
to it's source in the brain, so as to revitalize and nourish the
master glands (pineal and pituitary) of the body.
These glands are so
called because of their profound influence on health.
Sexual activity is
known to release many hormonal factors which positively affect body and
attitude, and sex since ancient times has been associated with longevity and
When the sex energy is
able to be re-absorbed, recycled as it were, sex becomes a revitalizing
This is therefore known
as the spiritual or generative phase of sex, and here the genitals are viewed
reverently as generative organs.
Accessing this second
phase of the sexual energy, by allowing it to turn inward and upward, is the
revelation of Tantra.
It shows us that sex
can be directed to create more life, not simply another life.
This spiritual phase of
the sex energy arises as man and woman learn to relax together during sexual
This is contrary to
the popular experience of sex as effort, an activity involving tensions and
We believe that the
more we do in sex, the more will happen, and the greater the reward.
We hardly think of
taking it easy! But this is upside down.
What we don't realize
is that genuine sexual ecstasy goes hand in hand with physical relaxation.
The more we relax, the
more we feel.
In fact, ecstasy and
tension are diametrically opposed; tension creates heat and restlessness while
ecstasy arises from a coolness and an inner peace.
Tension narrows and
contracts, while relaxation opens and expands.
Tension creates a peak,
while relaxation creates a valley.
Tension forces a
release, while relaxation allows absorption.
Thus relaxation is the
whole ambiance of Tantra.
It says that when we
relax down into the sexual energy, instead of building it up to a peak and then
releasing it, the outcome will be more life energy and more love.
In re-directing the
sexual energy through relaxation, it is enabled to turn inward and upward,
where it is automatically re-absorbed by the body, and recycled on a higher
Tantra describes this
step as being one of placing your foot on the first step of the inner ladder of
In time, a neglected
energy pathway forges its way open in the core of the body, which is
experienced from the genitals upward, as a streaming electro-magnetic current,
a glorious golden light phenomenon.
When we encourage the
spiritual phase of sex instead of obstructing it, as we do in our ignorance,
lovemaking becomes sacred experience filled with wonder.
- Sexual energy is the
life force itself running through us all
- By balancing our male
and female energies we can enjoy a healthy, empowering sexual relationship
- We can direct sexual
energy in the usual way by orgasm or we can redirect it to give us more energy,
- Thus transforming sex
creatively into a truly uplifting experience